Electronic Monopoly?

I don't know if anyone has seen this shit, but i've been seeing commercials for it for a couple of weeks now, and quite frankly i think it's absurd. For anyone who hasn't noticed, there is now a version of monopoly where there is no paper involved. Instead of money each person recieves an electronic calculator and whenever a purchase is made you just subtract the amount from the calculator, or add if you get you money. And instead of community chest and chance there is a random response generator with each of the possible chances or community chests programmed in. Now, some people may think this sounds sweet, and i'm sure there's some guy sitting in his house who's been using a calculator for monopoly for years being like "what the fuck, i thought od that" (similar to how joe finch claims his dad invented snowboarding i'd imagine). But the point of the issue that i'm trying to get at is that shit like this is turning americans these days into fat, lazy, vaginas. I remember how whenever i played monopoly i would open the box to a complete mess of money, pieces, dice, and cards, deeds and the half an hour or more it took to assemble all of the shit and deal out the money etc. made playing the game feel either more rewarding. What do these people do now? just open the box and start fucking playing, it's bullshit. I'm coining the next big monopoly revolution right here, no one will have to roll dice or move their pieces at all now, or better yet, people won't even have to play the game, you'll just have a randomizer that plays the game for you and tells you the winner. Think of how much time and hassle this will save. Ya, I'm a fucking genius.

ugh.

idunno how many people actually read this or care to see that i post this (i'd feel a little arrogant doing one of those "sorry everyone etc." things, acting like there are people who come on here every day like "omg did matt make a post" because i doubt anyone is like that) but anyways, i've been hella busy lately and haven't really been posting for shit, i've got finals coming up and shit and i've actually had mad work for school of late for the first time, but once finals is over and during break i'm sure i'll be posting a ton, so whatever. later.

The Big Lebowski

Well, the New York Times finally decided to recognize the greatest movie of all time with this little article that was shown to my by corey lasko.

Also, in a semi-related matter, this is a really hilarious video called The Big Hebowski

Owned.

I came across this article about a kid who apparently played world of warcraft for so long that he actually passed out and had to spend a night in the hospital. Most people would say this story is tragic, funny, or just plain sad, but personally i think it's a story of heroism. Here's a kid who gave all that he had to video games, all he wanted in his life was to be an online legend and with this he has undoubtedly secured his place amongst some of the greatest gamers of all time, right up there with that kid who played like 1 billion consecutive games of pacman a while back, it takes some guts, and a whole lot of stupidity to play Pacman for that long. What a loser.

Charade you are Xbox

Idunno if anyone else has noticed Xbox 360s new ad campaign talking about how many "family games" they have and how it's a great "family" system, but i've noticed this and i think it's hilarious. 360 has always been known as the hardcore gamer system, with titles such as Halo, Call of Duty, etc. and it's outstanding online play is it's main feature. That reason is why i think the new ad campaign is so funny, they're basically trying to appeal to a whole new crowd. Cleary as anyone would know, this is the same technique that nintendo used to market the wii, claiming new family style gameplay and "pick-up and play" style controls. The difference between the two strategies, and why the wii one will work better is because wii actually was completely new, the ad campaign fit the game. The reason it's stupid for 360 is because it's still the same system, it's completely pointless and i feel the market will not fall under spell of this. Wii will continue to outsell xbox, and xbox will continue to appeal to kids in college dorms who just want to play halo all day.

hilarious spanish video

This is a really absurd video we watched in my spanish class today, it's completely in spanish, but you don't really need to understand what they're saying to see the humor. It's basically three egg like things showing how to cook a christmas dinner, the problem is that they get incredibly hammered throughout the video, hilarity ensues.

Score one for Vermont

I noticed this article in the headlines on yahoo today, which names Burlington Vermont the healthiest city in America. I found it interesting how the article said that vermont has "the largest proportion of people — 92 percent — who say they are in good or great health." I didn't realize that health was based completely on whether or not you say that you have good health. I know plenty of fat people who think they don't have a problem, so i don't know if this is really a reliable source, but either way Burlington is either the most healthy, or just the most dishonest city in America, so congrats.

whats up with mj?

Ok, i pretty much just picked this straight off yahoo, so i'm sure like 100 billion people have seen it by now, but i thought it was kind of hilarious. The video is of MJ tooling on some random old geeky looking dudes, but then he's very surprised when one dude steps up and schools him two points in a row. MJ shows off a little, nailing a couple buckets on the guy, but then the random short shortted man replies with a nifty little lay up to ice it. The only reason i put the link instead of just posting the video is to show off how shitty this stupid yahoo blogger is. Idunno if anyone else likes reading then ripping on J.E. Sheets as much as I do, but i think this dude really sucks. If this is all it takes to make what i'm sure is a solid salary blogging i think i'll be set for life.

guitar hero

so, i haven't really posted in a while, mainly because i got the new guitar hero and it's pretty much been controlling my life. I've gotten pretty ridiculously sick at it in the week i've had it, already beating the game on expert. I'm pretty sure i'm going to be able to 5 star most of the songs on expert, and i already have 100% on like 10 songs expert, with scores ranking as high as top 50 in the world. I'm going to try to update this more often, but it's tough when you're as addicted to a video game as i am.

Chef Boyardee is Awesome

So, i just ate some chef boyardee mini beef raviolis, and i must admit i was pretty damn impressed. I hadn't eaten anything chef boyardee in a while, due to a realization that it's really gross, but i was very pleased to find out today that they don't suck nearly as much as i had previously thought. I think Nick Rundle put it best when he said "These are so gross... but i can't stop eating them" given, he did say this when he was standing in my pantry, very stoned, eating them straight from the can without heating them up. I prefer them heated up.

An Ode to King of the Hill

It has just been brought to my attention by this article that the show King of the Hill has been cancelled by Fox. In all honestly, i'm probably one of the biggest King of the Hill fans around, i find it hilarious the way absolutely ridiculous things happen and many of the shows make little to no sense and are very fucked up. I think we all remember the one where Chuck Mangioni was living in the Mega-Lo-Mart, a classic, and who could forget the one where Head Shop dudes help Bobby compete in a Rose growing contest, giving him bongs to use as vases. I could sit here and talk about my favorite King of the Hill episodes all day, but the point is, the show is getting cancelled after this season and i'm very disappointed in Fox for doing this to me.

Performance De-Hancing drugs?

I just read this story about the North Texas football team, and i find it hilarious. The coach of the team said that he noticed a lack of effort in his players, and that prompted him to test the entire team for recreational, or what he likes to call "performance de-hancing" drugs. Oddly enough, 15 of the players tests came back positive, maybe giving a little reason as to why the team is currently 0-8.

Bravo Santonio Holmes

I don't know if anyone has seen this yet but apparently Steelers wideout Santonio Holmes was found by police smoking blunts in his SUV yesterday. I find this particularly hilarious not only thinking of all of the times i've been in this same situation (mainly in high school, i like to think i'm beyond that at this point) but not only because rolling around blazing has to be thought of mainly as a high school practice. Wouldn't you think that someone who is undoubtedly as rich as Holmes, and also an adult unfettered by such threats as being discovered by his parents, would be able to find a better place to smoke. I mean, c'mon man, I'm all for smoking some blunts with ones homies, but why would you put yourself in such unnecessary risk. At this point the NFL is coming close to surpassing the NBA as the most thuggish profesional sports league, idiots such as Holmes, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, etc. give the entire league a bad name, and it's sad to see such a great sport be cast in such a negative light. Lets hope that someday these guys can learn to not be such idiots.

The original story can be found here: http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/football/bal-steelers1024,0,4700326.story

Eagle Eye: Sick Movie.

So, i watched Eagle Eye on my computer last night, and i must admit, it was fucking sick. In an era dominated by stupid humor, repetitive horror movies and pointless sequels this movie really shined as a unique, suspenseful thriller. One thing that bugged me about it however, is that i felt they gave away their "twist" of sorts pretty early, about halfway through the movie (if you were paying attention at all you should have it figured out) but nontheless, it was an outstanding movie and i'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys things that don't suck.

What the Fuck, Trix

So, i bought a box of trix from Target the other day, and i was pretty excited for it, but needless to say when i opened the box i was very surprised. I opened the box expecting to see all of the normal fruit shaped Trix pieces, but when i opened the box there were no watermelons, no wild berries, grapes, or limes. There was a box full of balls staring me in the face. Frankly, i think this is a complete outrage. Taking away the fruit shapes takes away the essence that makes Trix what they are. Without the fruity shapes trix are nothing more than a cheap knock off of fruity pebbles, and i hate fruity pebbles, the pieces are way too small and hard to get on the spoon. And another thing, the kids in the trix commercials are not funny, they are assholes. I think all species deserve equality, these kids are holding back a society that has come a very long way in promoting equality, and all species should be able to enjoy trix, even rabbits. Also, trix yogurt is awesome.

I am glad the Red Sox lost

As i sat in my dorm watching the red sox lose tonight, obviously surrounded by 4 or 5red sox fans I had to mask my excitement at their misfortune. I may be the only person in the entire school the is actually excited that the Red Sox lost tonight, but i am unbelievably glad that no longer will have to hear their assanine opinions about things, their retarded AL is better than NL pointlessness, or any of their other stupidities. It's really about time they lost, and i think the fact that they came so close to another improbable comeback almost makes it sweeter that they ended up losing in the end. Red Sox fans have come to see their team as invincible, as i watched the game tonight all of the Red Sox fans around me seemed as though they thought that it wasn't possible for their team to lose, that they are somehow inherently better than every other team, chosen by God to win the World Series every year, and their stupid quasi-comeback only strengthened that belief. But finally, they have lost, and i must admit i am very excited about it.

New Blog

one of my friends just made a new blog, it's http://theennobler.blogspot.com/ it looks like it's gonna be kinda gay, as most of the things he does are, but anyways there it is

kudos to dell

So, i haven't really been able to post the past few days because i hit my computer with my fist and apparently completely fried the hard drive. However, this gave me a great chance to experience the great Dell customer service. Anyone who doesn't like dells should at least be persuaded by the amazing next day service. My computer broke on tuesday, I called Dell to tell them about on wednesday, and then at around 2o'clock on thursday there was a dell technician at my school to install a new hard drive for me, pretty awesome.

Bas Rutten

This dude is pretty hilarious, one of my friends showe it to me on youtube and i think it's something everyone should have the chance to see and appreciate.

what the fuck

a hilarious play from yesterday's champions league action, the defender from Aalborg is completely out to lunch paving the way for a silly goal for Manchester United

Props to Someguy913

http://www.socialgamer.net/sp/someguy913/

By the time anyone reads this it will probably be over, and i doubt anyone will find this as impressive as i did, but this guy played every single rock band 1 and 2 song on drums in a row without stopping, almost 400 songs, and from what i've seen it's taken him about 12 hours and still going, it takes alot of guts, and a whole lot of stupidity to play rock band for that long.

first grade

So, i just got back my first college essay, it was from philosophy class and was a standard 3-4 pager, i got an A on it, which i'm pretty proud of and is really the entire reason i'm writing this. Just thought everyone should know about it and hopefully can share in my joy.

non-golf fans

The next time anyone tries to say something like "golf is gay" or "golf is boring" i want them to try watching the Ryder Cup as i did all weekend. I just want to submit, that the Ryder Cup is on par with events such as the World Series and the Super Bowl in terms of excitement and joy to watch. For anyone who didn't see it, the United States got their first win in 9 years this year, defeating the Europeans in a pretty convincing fashion. But the point is, this event is so fucking exciting, even for someone like me who tends to not enjoy watching golf very much. I have to admit, i was hooked from the first tee off, and the nature of golf is so exciting in the way that anything can happen and a match is never over until they're off the 18th green.

Steven Gerrard is Sick

Even if you don't enjoy or know anything about soccer, i can't imagine anyone not being totally impressed with this video of a goal Steven Gerrard scored in the champions league against Marseille. As you can see, the goalie is completely confused and basically has no idea what the fuck just happened to him, as he turns around and sees the ball has gone into the net. I can't even describe all of the reasons why this shot is so impressive, first of all he's running away from the net, also he makes the ball bend an absurd amount, while also having a solid flight and crisp hit on it, lastly the ball come in dead in the side netting meaning he calculated perfectly how much it would bend in. Insane.

Sorry?

So, i was eating lunch today at Charlie's (possibly the finest eating establishment on any college campus) and i was standing around waiting for my food, and i didn't realize but i was standing directly in front of the fountain soda despenser completely blocking anyone who would want to get a soda. In a minute or so, almost exactly as the thought began to cross my mind, a girl came by and wanted to get a soda, the dialogue that took place is exactly the point of this whole write up, and is as follows:

Girl: "Excuse me, Sorry but do you mind" (motioning to the dispenser)
Me: "Ya, no problem"

Now, for those of you who haven't noticed the blaring problem with this, i will explain. Why the hell would she feel compelled to apologize to me when i am clearly the one in her way. I mean, i was clearly in her way, standing in front of the fountain soda in a completely disrespecting, uncaring fashion, and for some reason she felt as though she was somehow in the wrong by asking me to move. I don't think this is an isolated problem, i feel like we have reached a point where people try too hard to be nice and apologize constantly because they're too afraid to make anyone else mad. In this, we lose all honesty, and credibility. At this point, who really knows when they need to say sorry? Who really knows when they have truly wronged someone? The next time you say sorry, really consider what you are apologizing for, think of if you actually feel bad, i think your results could be quite stunning.

Attention Vermonters...

I learned something the other day that i had no completely been aware of, and although everyone i've talked to thus far has told me they already knew of this tiny tid bit i discovered but for in case anyone else is in the dark i'm willing to share this bit i learned. Apparently not a single person ever outside of the state of Vermont has heard of referring to a soft serve ice cream as a "Creemee". As i said before, it appears as though all vermonters basically knew of this fact, i have to admit i was completely blindsided by my roommates absolute confusion and disbelief when i uttered the abomination. So, for anyone who was not aware of this, i hope i can save you the trouble of a very embarassing and possibly alienating experience.
-Later

About Blogs...

I'm writing this blog in a response to a number of other blogs i've read in the recent past, and i've almost been a little inspired by them because i've always sort of admired bloggers because of their ability to just put their ideas out there and not really care what anyone else thinks or even if anyone reads and basically just submitting themselves to the eye of the public and accepting any feedback not really caring who doesn't like it, while at the same time appreciating those who do like it. It is for that reason, that i've decided to take a little crack at a blog of my own, and hopefully while i take the reader on a journey of things i love, things i hate, and just things i just generally think are funny i can learn to embody some of the qualities that i have admired in my blogging brethrend. And while ths is mainly a self exploration journey and trying to better myself, i also hope that you, the reader, will enjoy at least a tiny bit of what i write, and hopefully think some of my pointless ramblings on seemingly meaningless subjects are funny, or at least give you something to think about.
-I'm Out