Performance De-Hancing drugs?

I just read this story about the North Texas football team, and i find it hilarious. The coach of the team said that he noticed a lack of effort in his players, and that prompted him to test the entire team for recreational, or what he likes to call "performance de-hancing" drugs. Oddly enough, 15 of the players tests came back positive, maybe giving a little reason as to why the team is currently 0-8.