Ron Artest Drank Hennessy at Halftime

Idunno how many other people have seen this but i literally just saw it on ESPN, apparently Ron Artest has admitted that he used to get drunk during the halftime of games when he played for the Bulls. Now, i'm sure some people will be shitting on him for this, but personally i think it's pretty badass. I mean, some people drink gatorade some people drink Hennessy is clearly just something we need to admit here and the fact that he's drinking possibly the blackest alcohol one drink only makes it even more ballin'. Also, he would be a great EHS intramural hockey player i'm sure.

why don't foreign people know how to use phones?

I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but it seems as though all foreign people either talk into their phones way too loud or way too quietly. I don't know how this problem could have developed, but it's pretty fucking annoying. Currently i'm sitting in my room and this idiot spanish kid who lives near me is out in the hall talking on his phone so loud that i can literally hear every single thing he's saying, like come on man, they're going to hear you just fine if you talk at a regular volume. I really feel bad for whoever is on the other end of that phone, their ears must literally be bleeding right now. On the other hand, i was on the phone with Dell the other day and some indian guy who i had to talk to in order to have him fix my computer was talking so quietly that i literally could never hear him and probably said "what?" about 97 times throughout the course of the conversation. It was terrible. Anyways, i'm gonna go out in the hall and tell this kid to shut the fuck up.

Later.

ESPN sucks

K so, i know everyone has probably realized this because it's stunningly obvious, but ESPN has become loaded with absolutely terrible shows and really stupid people. I was flickin' through the ol' channels today just to see whats up and i stopped at ESPN and saw the show "Sportsnation" starring idiot Colin Cowherd and some blonde chick who isn't even that hot (she would have to be pretty fucking hot to make up for such a stupid show). What the show entails is, basically, Colin and the blonde girl read a stupid sportscenteresque internet poll, whatever idiots happen to be actually watching the show go online and vote, and then the two outstandingly insightful hosts discuss the results. Moving on, i literally have no idea why Skip Bayless is allowed to talk about sports. Why ESPN still lets him do anything is unbelievable to me, he literally has THE WORST opinions ever and he's so blinded by his own stupidity that he literally always thinks he's right and won't let anyone reasonable talk any sense to him. Moving on with my assault on TV, Comedy Central has gotten so unbelievably gay lately. First of all, i don't know why they keep giving mediocre stand-up comedians their own shows, that stupid Dmitri Martin show (which wasn't funny) failed very quickly, Tosh.0 is still on the air now, but i doubt it will be for long, and now they give that fucking idiot ventriloquist Jeff Dunham his own show? are you fucking kidding me? Ok, so he's the best ventriloquist in the world, whatever, but he's still just a stupid ventriloquist and literally all of his jokes are the exact same I don't understand it. Gone are the days where i could turn on Comedy Central and expect to see South Park, Futurama, Scrubs, or even a fucking Daily Show or Colbert Report rerun from the night before, now whenever i turn it on it's fucking Secret Girlfriend, what the fuck is that show about anyways, wait, i don't want to know. In all honesty, with the exception of Forensic Files TV has gotten incredibly weak and boring, i'ma go play xbox. Later.

DEVELOPERS

K so, this is possibly one of the funniest youtube videos i've ever seen, the first time i saw it i was so caught off guard that i literally lost my shit. That said, i don't think anyone besides me and Mark Whelan really thinks it's that funny.

Sega Dreamcast.

So, i just read this article on IGN about the history of the Sega Dreamcast (undoubtedly written because wednesday, 9/9/09 will be the 10th anniversary of the dreamcasts release), and i have to admit i was close to being in tears. I don't know how many people who read this (well, i don't know how many people read this) had the privelege to own a Sega Dreamcast, but as one of those lucky few i have to admit that it provided me with some of the best video game times i ever had in my life. I can remember hours spent in jeff lasko's basement playing crazy taxi, not even to mention other epic games. Powerstone was possibly one of the best and most innovative fighters ever, and obviously the game i just mentioned, crazy taxi, was definitely one of the most innovative games ever. To me, the main problem with Dreamcast was that it was too ahead of its time, and people just couldn't appreciate all they were trying to do. But alas, i'm sure anyone who has ever owned a sega dreamcast would agree, it was one of the best gaming systems ever and it died well before its time, rest in peace sega dreamcast, you are missed and not forgotten.

ps, this was my 50th post, woo!

k i fucked my computer over real bad

So, i was throwing my tin of snus from my chair onto my desk today and spilled a half full bottle of arizona iced tea onto my computer and now it's basically completely unresponsive, it won't power on or even do anything at all. So, i wouldn't expect myself to be posting for a week or two probably, i'm actually on nick st. jeans computer writing this right now, but i have to send mine to dell to get repaired or replaced and it's going to cost me anywhere from 200 to 550 dollars, which blows really badly, and i won't have a computer for probably like 10 days. So, this is goodbye for a while unless i get something really sick to write about and decide to go on someone elses computer to do it. Later.

i'm so jealous of my cat

So, i was petting my cat earlier today, he's pretty awesome and exceptionally soft as far as cats are concerned (possibly the softest cat i've ever known) when i realized how awesome of a life cats have. I got on the ol' wikapedia there and did some research and i discovered that domestic cats can sleep up to 20 out of every 24 hours. Idunno about you, but that sounds pretty fucking sweet, they have no responsibilities, they don't have to put up with any bullshit from like, parents, professors, girlfriends, ok, so they can never have sex, but that wouldn't really be a huge loss for me anyways so either way i win. My cat literally sleeps all day until he's hungry the he gets up and gets something to eat then goes directly back to sleep. Also, people enjoy petting them which i would imagine feels incredibly good for a cat. If reincarnation is real i really hope i come back as a cat, man that would be sweet.

philosophical stuff...

So, i've never really shared this with the world, but i've always been kind of interested in philosophy, i actually took the liberty to declare myself (and by declare i mean tell my advisor) a philosophy minor at assumption college this semester, i mean, i'm no zach tavlin but i've always just thought it was kinda neat. So, introductions aside, onto this blog post (worst transition ever... suck it). So, (going for the world record in times said "so" this post) for reasons i don't really want to discuss i've been pretty interested in the concept of the universe evening itself out, some people would call it karma, kind of a cause and effect type relationship with the actions a person makes and the kind of luck or things that come their way (not really sure if this is even an actual philosophy thing, hopefully zach tavlin will read this and set me straight, i'm sure he will). So, i got on the ol' google there recently and just kinda started reading as much about it as i could. My findings were actually not all that interesting, and while thinking about what to write in the coming sections of this post i'm kind of drawing a blank on what i want to say that will actually be interesting. I found this one dude who i don't know exactly what his credibility is but he claims that most people's view of karma (corey lasko is actually a huge believer in karma for a fun fact) is wrong because they believe that karma is sort of a force that evens out the universe, but he contends that karma is based solely on the action that is committed therefore there is no cause and effect relationship it's simply an action. For example, he says that an example of bad karma would be cheating or stealing, the conventional view would be that because someone cheats or steals bad luck will come their way, this guy says that the action is a punishment within itself. The point he ends up getting to is that karma is really an issue of morality as opposed to a greater force that governs the universe and rewards the good and punishes the bad. His idea is that karma is something that a person feels within themselves for any action they commit such as the joy of doing a good action or a feeling of guilt from doing something bad. So according to him it's more about the intention of an action rather than the action itself that is meaningful.

Well, this is already my longest post ever, so i guess now that i've completely explained the theory of some guy who no one has ever heard of i'll get on to my opinion. I actually have to admit that i kind of agree with this dude. The notion of karma has always been something that i haven't exactly believed in. While i do believe in some sort of higher being or force (god or whatever) i don't believe that this force is powerful enough to punish or reward every single little action that anyone commits ever (that's alot of actions man). But i do believe that every person is aware of the actions they commit and their consequences and that they feel the impact of those actions inside themselves, which i think is kind of what that guy is saying. Although it may be weird coming from me, a person who most believe to be a huge asshole and not really have any regard for humanity, i actually always have tried to live my life well and although i may be mean to people at times (alot of the time) i can truthfully say that whatever action i take i try to not cause harm to other people and i feel a pretty substantial amount of guilt when i do something. Example: last semester at school in my music class we had a homework assignment that i didn't do, i figured the professor wouldn't actually grade it etc. whatever. The class after we handed it in the professor approached me and told me there was an assignment that had no name on it and asked me if it was mine, i told her that it was in fact mine and i ended up getting an A on the assignment despite having done no work. Now, i must admit that the guilt of that has kind of subsided at this point, but i felt like shit about it, i knew that someone had done that assignment and forgot to put their name on it got a zero and i got an A and i felt shitty about that (hopefully no one from assumption reads this and gets me kicked out of school). But the point is, everyone knows deep down if they've wronged someone, there doesn't need to be a greater force to keep things in order, at least that's my take on it. So, kinda got away from philosophy stuff (if i was ever actually on it?) and onto my own ramblings but ya, longest post i've ever made if anyone reads this i hope they enjoy it. i'm out.

so ya, i never really know what to title stuff

K so, i know i haven't really updated in forever and i was planning on updating as much as i could this summer and i definitely didn't really do that so i apologize for that, but i really have just been going through some annoying stuff in my life lately and haven't really felt like writing in here. I've actually thought of some good stuff to write about and hopefully i'll get into some of that in the coming days and hopefully i can be as stupidly funny as i think i've been in past posts. So ya, i'm going back to school on sunday so hopefully after that updates will be frequent, i'm really all about keeping my like three or four (well, maybe at least four or five) readers happy, so hopefully i can get on that. Later.

a black guy tried to play the race card on me at work today

so, idunno how many people who read this know of my work, well, i don't know how many people read this at all for that matter, but anyways, i work night shift at a factory that makes lip gloss and the breakdown of people who work there is about 45% foreigners, 45% rednecks and probably about 10% normal people, so i'm in a pretty big minority. But anyways, i was working on the line with an african today and we had just finished and my boss was like "matt, get the pallet jack and bring this over there and tell john (a black guy) to go get a new pallet" so i was like alright that seems reasonable so i turned to the black guy and was like "yo john can you go get a new pallet for the next order?" and what happened next kinda surprised me he was like "what? you think you can just tell me what to do all the time? you think you can just boss me around and i'll do whatever you say?" i didn't really care enough to explain to him that i was just relaying an order so i just went and got the new pallet after i was done, it was pretty interesting i have no doubt that if another young black man had asked him to get the pallet he would have had no problem with it however he also complained for like 30 minutes when our boss asked him to spit his gum out which is a company rule being as we deal with food grade material....

the end.

what ever happened to AIM profiles?

so, idunno about anyone else but i was always a huge fan of the AIM profile back in the day. As i recall anyone who was anyone at least had some sort of something in their profile, looking down my buddy list now all i see is either "no information provided" an emo song lyric or some sort of "i love my boyfriend!" or "i love my girlfriend!" type of thing. when i talk about the glory days of aim profiles i'm talking about back when people used to have like shoutouts and shit. shoutouts were the sickest man, you'd look in someone who you think is your friend's profile and see shoutouts and be like "oh sick, what did they say about me?" to see that they in fact said nothing about you, shoutouts were middle school exclusion at it's finest and there was always beg for a shoutout guy. I never had shoutouts, but this dude was classic, he would see that there was no shoutout and be like "come onnnnnnn! give me a shoutout!" and the result was a very generic shoutout like "billy.... you're cool man" or something, it was sick. And then there was the subprofile. there's something that was truly dope as shit. i don't know if anyone else on here had one of these babies but they were basically the coolest shit around. it was basically your own website within your profile, you could make your own pages for anything, you could just write about whatever you wanted, you could have shoutouts, and people could even leave comments on it, you just couldn't say anything making fun of people or making fun of suicide or ryan patrick halligan's dad would show up on your front door, not a good time in my life but funny nontheless. anyways, i think we need to return to the days of the awesome profile, get this emo lyric bullshit out of here, i think i'm going to go make a subprofile right now.

my xbox is so gay

So, i've been playing NHL 09 on my xbox 360 alot, it's kind of the only game i have and i'm in significant debt right now and therefore can't buy any other games. However, further proof that xboxes are stupid money traps, my xbox has been constantly breaking lately. According to microsoft.com my xbox is overheating all the time, and according to various forums where nerdy dudes talk about their xboxes, this is a very common problem that no one really knows how to fix. So, now that i've already had this xbox get red ring of death once and have to replace it, i now have another xbox that malfunctions on a regular basis. In an unrelated matter, i'm starting working overnight in a lipstick factory on wednesday which will most likely suck alot, 7 at night to 7 in the morning three days per week. i'm out.

Buckethead

So, i obviously haven't posted in here in a really long time, but i'm going to try to kind of resurrect this shit by posting alot this summer. I recently went to a pretty sick concert at higher ground, it was buckethead and this other dude wolff, who played an electric tuba and was actually really sick, the guy who took this video below was literally like 10 feet in front of me and i saw him recording and was like "wow i bet that will be on youtube soon" and then it was, so neato. 



And this other video is just another one of that concert, it was about in the middle of the show he decided to stop playing and start doing some robot thing, it was pretty funny, he must practice it alot, it was pretty sick. 

And this other video is the dude that opened for buckethead, wolff, he was pretty crazy, i'm pretty sure none of his stuff was prerecorded so all of the beats and stuff he made he did right there and just recorded them, which i would imagine takes a great deal of skill, however his singing is the only thing about the show i thought was unimpressive as it was just kinda really creepy. 

Like a Boss

So, i'm sure the majority of people have seen this by now, as i tend to be pretty far behind the curve on these kinds of videos, but i saw this and thought it was pretty outstanding and thought some other people would most likely enjoy it. 

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worst south park ever.

so, no lie, i'm a pretty huge south park fan, but i must say that the most recent episode of south park involving queefing was one of the biggest wastes of 30 minutes i've ever experienced. I did not laugh at all throughout the entire episode. I merely sat and gazed at the screen in confused horror. I kept telling myself through the entire episode "it's ok, they're going somewhere with this, it will get good" but it never did. In fact, it got worse. Even after the last commercial break i was like "ok, a good ending can still salvage some respectability for this episode" but the ending proved to be the shittiest part of the entire episode. South Park, i love you, but this kind of shit is just unacceptable. 

these kids are winners

So, i found this video on youtube of two kids playing the finals of a guitar hero contest, i think this may have actually been on TV or at least on some website live. The video is complete with british commentators who are pretty impressed by these kids as they should be. I have to admit, i'm kind of jealous of these kids, they're pretty 1337. 

killer instinct gold can suck it

So, i'm sure no one who reads this will have any frame of reference here, but killer instinct gold is a nintendo 64 fighter, a sequel to a super nintendo game simply titled "killer instinct". Now, my problems with the sequel are pretty great in number. First of all, where the fuck is Riptor. Riptor was possibly the most badass character in the snes version of this game, seen in the image below. First of all, Riptor was a complete badass. The fact that they allowed a dinosaur to fight against mainly human characters is a tad odd to me, but whatever, the point remains that he was fucking sick and leaving him out of any sequel is just not cool. Second of all, they made Fulgore into a little bitch. In the snes one Fulgore was a well respected character, he could shoot lasers out of his eyes, fire shit at people, the whole 9 yards. But in the N64 version they made him into a complete faggot who is way too slow to ever do anything. The last one i'll mention, even though i could go on for days, is that the N64 version is far too easy. I remember playing the snes one for hours in a row getting raped by the computer like a total nubzor, but upon taking up the N64 one i quickly rised to greatness, being able to beat the game on Master difficulty without even continuing. I'm not saying i'm some sort of video game prodigy, although i am, i'm saying the game is way too easy, and silly. 

i made a great pun today

So, i was at Charlie's with two of my friends today, eating a great chicken quesadilla, and one of my friends came to the table with a turkey club. Upon seeing the turkey club my other friend said "wow that looks good, what is it" "a turkey club" my other friend replied to the response "oh that looks so good, i'm going to get one." it was at this time that the amazing line came to me and i said "join the club". Now, i really am the bragging type, and i must say that i think i made a pretty sick pun. I don't feel like anyone can really deny this, and the pun was intended. 

ridiculous hockey goal

so, i don't really watch hockey much, but i saw this on sportscenter this morning and must admit that it's pretty fucking absurd.

this kid is the fucking man

so, i'm probably way behind the times on this video too, but this hilarious australian kid apparently threw such a huge party that he got on the news, and then totally owned the reported by being a huge smartass. I think i speak for everyone when i say, i wish i was cool enough to hang out with this kid. 

fuck yahoo, again

so, i just saw the dumbest thing ever on fucking yahoo. This article on yahoo, about some chick who apparently took taste testing mac and cheese from the box incredibly fucking seriously. Honestly, is this not the dumbest thing ever, they actually have little write ups for each fucking brand of macaroni. As an aspiring writer myself, it's fucking ridiculous to know that the people writing shit this stupid are getting paid and making a living by doing this. Honestly, if these people can make money for this, i'm gonna be all set

No Shit?

So, i saw this article on yahoo today with the headline "why the wii is failing" and i thought it would be interesting to take a look at what the cunning reporters over at yahoo had to say about this. Interestingly enough, they've stumbled upon a pretty momentus point that i'm sure no one has realized yet. The Wii has very few good games (if you think i was serious that no one has realized this, you're wrong). The point of this article on yahoo was to uncover what apparently they felt was a pretty fucking big deal, but unfortunately the problem with this is that not only is it obviously a big fucking deal, everyone and their mother has been saying this for well over a year now. Well fucking done mike smith of yahoo, you managed to break a story that's basically comprable to reporting that the sky is blue, even people who don't know shit about video games at all, and i'm sure the people over at yahoo fall into this category, have been saying this for a really long time, so way to go mike smith of yahoo, pretty fucking impressive journalism work on this one.


Additionally, it's been brought to my attention that apparently everybody knows about that stupid yes dance video, well... fuck you guys, i just saw it.

How huge of a dick is Jay McGwire

So, idunno how many people have seen this already, probably anyone who has any awareness of sports at all, but for anyone else, Jay McGwire, the completely unknown brother of Mark McGwire is now coming out of the woodwork to try to write a book selling out Mark McGwire for his steroid usage. I see several things wrong with this, first of all, obviously Mark McGwire did steroids, it's pretty clear that he's ok with this, although he's never admitted it, he doesn't seem to really give a fuck what anyone else thinks about him, which i think is admirable. Additionally, brother, Jay McGwire, claims that he's doing this "in love for his brother", and also claims that he himself was a former steroid user but has now seen God and is trying to shed some God upon Mark. This is absolute bullshit, how is selling out his brother who doesn't care about baseball at all anymore and appears to have no interest in stuff such as getting into the hall of fame or his reputation at all, he's basically a recluse at this point but i digress, how would Jay selling out his brother in any way be a good thing in any other way than the money he's going to get from his potential book deal. The whole thing is completely retarded, and this dude is pretty clearly just an asshole trying to sell out his brother for money.


An article on this can be found here: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/2009/01/21/2009-01-21_jay_mcgwire_pitching_book_detailing_brot.html

really gay video

so, i was at northeastern university on saturday and some kids there turned me on to a very hilariously gay video, and i feel like the world needs to know about this

I was right, there is no right or wrong.


Also, Gokey is the fucking best.

2009: The Year of Rohit

So, i'm assuming pretty much everyone has heard by now, but 2009 is officially being deemed the year of rohit, no one really knows why it's called that, but everyone has to call it that from now on. The only real explanation i remember hearing is "This is the year man, 2009, it's going to be the best year ever, the year of Rohit" (Rohit Kohli). So, there ya go, it's official, 2009: Year of Rohit.